More important than age is self-esteem, the ability to talk with their parents about any concerns, their ability to say "no" to things they aren't comfortable with, the ability to make good choices when choosing friends. It is your job to protect her and be her parent, not her best friend. Whenever I come home, there she is right after school until dark with her boyfriend until he wanders home when her parents get home. She's with her boyfriend all day long at school and after school, and I NEVER GO OUT!!! I know the movies is a far cry from this for you daughter, but still, you're right, it's too young.
From a former middle school teacher, I say wait until 16! Her parents had been dropping her off at the mall and movies with her boyfriend. She flaked on sitting for us New Year's Eve to be with her boyfriend. Your daughter needs to stay busy and not start paring off on dating things. He had met my mom and totally respected her and so he respected me. I think it is up to the parents to decide what is best for the individual child.
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The post is so sweet, we almost got cavities just from reading it. So what I want to do is put my arm around her, however, she is about 6 inches taller than me. I feel like when we are lying next to each other on the couch, she slumps more than me, and we're about the same height, her maybe ~2 inches taller than me. Thank you everyone that helped me, and thanks for all the nice things you said to me."This story is a thrilling reminder that everyone gets nervous about dating.
"So I have been with this girl for about 2 months now, and we have recently started to hold hands etc.," he wrote. If you're shy or scared about making a move (or your SO making a move), you're not alone.
That summer we would meet up at the pool on the weekends. I too, endured many stares...sometimes I really had to work hard not to start laughing! you can take the time out to explain all the risks she is taking now, and try to trust her to a point....
I had a full time babysitting job 5 days a week, and he bussed tables, so weekends are when we got to see each other. Once we were freshmen in high school, we did get dropped off at the movies. or you can do what my parents did and lock her away from boys until she is old enough to run away, and then have a prego 15yr old... we cant tell them of the evils in the world without expecting them to be curious. try to talk to her like an 'adult' and explain your concerns.
She won't think any less of you if you put your arm around her.""Try putting your arm around her waist instead of her shoulder," another suggested.
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And what is "dating" - they already believe that they are girlfriend/boyfriend. Boyfriends are so darn all consuming mentally at that age.
Dating has become less formal, less two-by-two, and more about doing things in groups. Sure she'll still think about him and communicate (I'm not looking forward to having a texting 13 year old, but it may happen if texting is still the thing in 9 years...), but the dates are a slippery slope.
She would never admit it, but I think she knows we're not COMPLETELY unreasonable on this one!! Prior to that - I had "boyfriends" and we talked on the phone and went over to each other's houses for homework - doors were ALWAYS open and nothing was done in private. What you should do instead is invite a group of kids over to your house, fix them food, play music, have board games, Twister, etc. Be careful to look at any DVD's that a kid might bring to make sure you think it's appropriate- I had a problem with that, but my son is 18. I could go out on group dates at 14 and alone at 15.5.
:)T.: Make a compromise - if they want to go to a movie - JOIN THEM!! If you do this, she will feel like she has something fun to do with him, and you hold the cards. Let her give you death stares all she wants - 13 is too young to date. I really don't care if this is a "different time." I'm doing the same for my daughters.
I don't know what I think the "right" age is to start dating, but I know for me it's not 13! Thanks for all the great responses - I appreciated those that disagreed with me as much as those that agreed.