The dynamic of two men being together IS DIFFERENT.Queer men are varying shades of the rainbow." —Chris, 25 "I went from a 225-pound fat boy to a 145-pound athletic guy.
If you act shy in an unconscious manner, you will likely come across as awkward, but if you express your shyness consciously, if you downright play with your shyness, then you can turn it into an attractive personality trait that pulls your man into your orbit. Played properly, being shy can be the trump card that gets you the guy.
When you are a gay man in your twenties, dating can be an all-around horrible experience.
So when I started dating, I viewed what I wanted from those examples.
But I've learned that those romantic conventions don't work when you are trying to date a queer person.
It seems each tribe comes with its own set of rules for dating.
I just wish inter-tribal dating/mingling wasn't an issue, but it seems to be for some people.
For this first date, your current shy nature is all but inevitable, so instead of trying to hide it or banish it, highlight it.
Never forget that there are multiple ways to express your shyness.
A lot of the anxiety shy men feel when they go on dates revolves around feeling like they’re being judged and feeling like they just aren’t going to measure up under their date’s scrutiny.
Looking and feeling your best at all times by taking care of your grooming and your health is a good way to help neutralize these feelings, but an even better way to eliminate the need to glow under your date’s scrutiny is to remember he has to measure up to your standards, too.
What’s more, the best-case scenario of asking a guy out, him saying yes and setting up an actual date simply leads to more apprehension as you worry about screwing up a potentially powerful and positive connection.