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While most agree that these types of communication are not conducive to a loving relationship, others contend that they are nevertheless effective in building attraction and compliance (at least, when used sparingly).Although contrary to moral sensibility, can it be true? Do their insults back make you love (or lust) for them more too?Research by Gudjonsson and Sigurdsson (2003) explored the relationship between self-esteem and compliance with requests.

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So I think hate comes from different places and in a free, secular Western society it's a sick luxury, a learned prejudice, a personal choice or a sign of some underlying personality disorder. There is a famous book about Uganda by Turnbull ed the Mountain People.

All it took for one tribal group to de-evolve and roll back hundreds of years of society was a few decades of going hungry and being relocated from their homeland by the disorganized Ugandan government.

There are several explanations for the tactic, however, they all employ some sort of backhanded compliment, which temporarily lowers the target's self-esteem while leaving the speaker blameless.

Theoretically, this lowered self-esteem in the target makes the speaker seem more attractive by comparison.

They stopped conducting marriages, forgot all their old customs and stopped burying their dead.

Eventually they stopped feeding the old people and. shipped them some seeds they ate them instead of planting them and the adults started starving.After their self-esteem was increased or decreased in that way, they were asked to rate their liking for the male research assistant.The results of the study indicated that women who had their self-esteem temporarily lowered found the male research assistant significantly more attractive than the women with temporary high-self esteem.I think it is dangerous to romanticize hatred as some exotic evil outside of "us" that can't arise at any time given certain conditions or to forget that in some cases it is caused by those conditions.Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor I would like to talk about a controversial topic this week - the potential role of insults, put-downs, and negative statements in relationships.The results of their analysis supported the hypothesis that individuals with lower self-esteem are more compliant and agreeable to the requests of others.


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