Everything in my life was about to change, and I was drinking a lot. I hadn’t seen or thought about him in nearly a year. My name is Elena.”He turned to me, looked me up and down, and said, “Hey, yeah…I remember you. We told them to meet us at the Chapel of the Bells at 7PM. We didn’t have a long engagement full of planning and stress to throw a lavish wedding for a guest list that is entirely too big.
One night my friends and I decided to go see some live music at a local bar. I was feeling pretty tipsy [AKA fearless] so I walked right up to him and said “Hey! After our 2.5 minute wedding ceremony and 0 spent on the marriage certificate and Chapel fees, we got some take-out to eat at our favorite bar, had a couple drinks, got our wedding bands tattooed [for free by a friend] and went home. I moved in with him right after we got hitched, and guess what? We didn’t have a 2-week honeymoon to a tropical island. I suppose I just want you to know that if you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them…you need to tell them. Tell them how you feel and that they’re it for you. If you want to marry someone, then marry the fuck out of them and don’t apologize for it.
What have you done to get out of a married dating rut?
Larissa Murphy is the wife of Ian, and they live in western Pennsylvania.
My best friend/roommate/soul sister was moving indefinitely to Austria. He said, “I’ll call you soon.”I said, “No, you’ll call me tomorrow. I went home super late that night because I had to nanny early the next day. Since we knew that we wanted to get married, the next question was…I knew that he was the one. ”So we tried to elope that night, but it was 2 in the morning and the wedding chapel was closed. [This was easy for us to decide because we both felt the same way about one another. He grew up in a stable, modest home, and he has a wonderful family. My needs were always met financially, but emotionally, my life was exhausting. I felt safe with him knowing that he grew up in the way I wished I had. I want to give my children what I never had growing up…emotional stability, consistency and parents who love and respect one another.
I was about to be homeless, jobless and had no idea what my next move was. I cannot tell you how good it felt to be asked out in person. I don’t think you should persuade someone to marry you in three weeks if the feelings aren’t completely mutual.]For us there was no convincing. It also helped that our values were perfectly aligned. We texted our closest friends on morning of Sunday, July 13th, 2014. We didn’t date for 1 years before he proposed to me on one knee during a trip to the coast.
I think a disability takes those normal fears, and multiplies them.
Marrying Ian meant that I was signing on to things that I donʼt think I ever wouldʼve chosen for myself — working my whole life, having a husband who canʼt be left alone, managing his caregivers, remembering to get the oil changed, advocating for medical care, balancing checkbooks, and on.
And at times Society has frowned upon us for having done it so differently. We have each other, we have a kick-ass marriage, we have two painfully adorable cats, a beautiful home that we have made together.
We knew that when we got married [in the way we did, as quickly as we did] that people would be judgmental, make bets on how long we would last, and think we were absolutely crazy.
Larissa works in marketing at a local bank, and blogs at Ian & Larissa. The story of their relationship and trials, along with their uncommon union and their reflection of the Savior’s love in their marriage, was told in an online documentary.