What’s vitally important is not which – but rather, to not opt for Pharisaical rules but find Biblical principles.These books have been carefully selected from many writings on the topic, to point families to the resources that are solidly biblical in their approach to boy-girl relationships and which will help them prepare for a long and solid marriage.
Courting and dating differences
The women reported to me that they did not feel threatened—although they were very likely to report that they felt disappointed. Most of the precautions I thought were important were against being stuck for a whole evening with a boring date.
I especially recommended arranging to meet for the first time only for coffee or a drink.
During that particular time, after college, men and women sometimes found it difficult to find each other.
The same was true for those who did not go to college in the first place.
These precautions seemed less important after the first few times a woman responded to these published invitations to meet.
It turned out the men they were introduced to this way were no more or less dangerous than men encountered for the first time in a bar, or even men whom they met through the recommendation of a friend. (A somewhat older, recently divorced, woman told me she was sitting with her date at a fancy restaurant when he took out his teeth and put them in a wine glass.) Being pro-active, as I usually am, I encouraged men and women, too, to try dating this way, although, certainly, only after taking reasonable precautions.
The advertisements in The Village Voice were different than those in the various Jewish newspapers and different, also, from those in the New York Magazine.
Someone answering ads in one place might be replying to an invitation to engage in some sort of sex. Others were directed at more sober individuals who were thinking of getting married somewhere down the line.
Spending a couple of hours with someone who was unattractive and unappealing was not too much of a price to pay for the chance to have met someone who might be attractive and appealing.
It was also possible, sometimes, to do something that was entertaining, even with someone who was unattractive and unappealing.
Women made the trip west with the expectation that they would marry and be happy-- more or less.