Boundaries are the key to success between your playmate and their ex.
If your lovey has created healthy boundaries and has good communication with their ex (or at least tried—not everyone’s ex is a picnic to get along with, which may be why they’re no longer together), I say full “steam ahead, cap’n!
If you’re the jealous type, you’ll need to learn to manage that.
She lives in Colorado with her partner and two kids, where she loves to read, cook and get upside-down in acro yoga.
I had a like, 3 year stint of dating basically only women in San Francisco, and not a lot of SF lesbians are super sold on the idea of kids (probably because SF is so expensive and because babies are not a byproduct of lesbian sex.)So, I was like, ah-ha! In a Guardian article, Laurie Penny concisely expressed some of my current frustrations: I’m consistently taken aback by the number of men my age and older who speak offhandedly about their “future children”, without having planned in the slightest for the arrival of these notional sprogs — simply assuming that it’ll happen someday, when they’ve had time to dedicate themselves to their life’s work.
We make a beautiful family, and we love each other. Because while dating someone with kids can be amazing in so many ways, don’t ever think it’ll be easy. You wanted to get away for the weekend but you forgot it’s over Mother’s Day because, newsflash, you’re not a mom?
But don’t be misled: this is the most challenging thing I have ever done. You should know a few things before you flail carelessly into infatuation like that basejumper guy in the squirrel suit with that awesome song. A parent’s responsibility is to their kids first, always, and that will never change. Be aware your plans will always need to be flexible.
Maybe you’re thinking, ‘Hey, it’s OK; he only has them every other weekend, so basically I can forget his ex exists.’ I want to hug you and pat your head.
The ex will always be a part of your new love’s life, and their kids.’ You’ll always hear about them, the kids will talk about them, the kids may even look like the ex you so desperately want to forget ever existed.You’d be surprised at how much a little knowledge and same-story listening can do when the road gets bumpy (and it will).Remember, when you’re going to get involved in the lives of tiny humans, it’s to be taken seriously and open-heartedly.About the Author: Erika Fore Erika Fore is a Certified Health Coach and the owner of Ahimsa Wellness Practice.She’s appeared on Fox21 News and nationally syndicated radio programs as the go-to wellness guru.Overall, let’s be honest: dating someone with kids, particularly when you don’t want your own, is tricky to navigate. However, if your partner is a skilled parent with good boundaries with their ex, has the ability to help you navigate this world, and you’re willing to be patient and flexible, it can be amazing.