We have to also pay attention to ourselves and and be willing to adapt.
The more we do this, the more we get the message that the route has changed, especially when we gradually start to feel the cumulative effect of treating ourselves as valuable, worthwhile and good enough love, care, trust and respect and are not prepared to ride on the Crumb Express in someone else’s life. We don’t have to engage in the same old comparisons. We don’t have to keep trying to ‘fix’ others as a round-the-houses way of trying to fix ourselves.
We don’t have to engage in avoidance because ultimately it only lands us in even more problems.
Even if your family doesn’t actually treat you that well and they are in fact, incredibly dysfunctional, you can still end up near losing your mind about how to fit in, tow the line, and get their approval.
Despite not growing up around them, my extended family We can build family up in our mind to be some almighty force and as long as we decide that they or certain members have all of the power and we ‘must’ do this and we ‘should’ do that, we take a lesser role life and 2) having boundaries.
But if what we’re doing doesn’t make us happy, continuing to do it isn’t going to change a damn thing.
If we don’t adapt the habits that inform how we respond in certain types of situations, we’ll continue to use the same thinking and behaviour that has contributed in part to our problems. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.
It’s this idea that we should continue on as is even though it hurts, and that others ‘should’ change to accommodate this.
We don’t have to leap on every thought and treat each one as a fact.
That means choosing what we do and don’t participate in or ‘feed’, including chasing negative thoughts and feeding the worry fish, to responding to futile contact when it’s a shady situation with an ex, to carrying the same baggage, beliefs and behaviours and engaging in similar dynamics and expecting different results.