Dating is a negotiation, and we don’t always get everything we want.
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It’s great conversation fodder when someone displays snapshots of himself on vacation or out with friends, but it’s reasonable to expect at least one clear picture of his face.
If you receive an impersonal message that seems oddly like a form letter, it probably is.
That is, until you receive a message or phone call confessing that the picture he sent wasn’t really him, and that he’s actually five years older than he claimed, but now that you’ve gotten to know him, that shouldn’t be a problem, right? The intent is to trick potential dates into falling for their “inner beauty,” but all this ruse really reveals about someone is that he’s a liar.
People who employ this tactic generally aren’t tender souls who are afraid of rejection; they’re just not confident enough to be themselves.
What’s not okay is to expect potential suitors to conform to a long list of demands.
If you see a profile that specifies a required height/weight, salary, or supermodel looks, or includes domineering phrases like “I need …” or “I won’t tolerate …,” consider whether you could ever live up to this person’s impossible standards.
“No one expects to meet in person after just a couple of emails, but if you’ve been corresponding regularly, it’s expected that you’ll take your relationship offline.
If the person doesn’t even want to talk on the phone or meet for coffee, it’s okay to wonder what his motivations are.
Maggie from New York City specified in her profile that she wanted to meet someone between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-five who lived in Manhattan, so receiving emails from sixty-five-year-old men who lived a hundred miles away was not amusing.
Someone who blatantly disregards what you’ve stated you’re looking for is simply wasting your time.
But the good ones are indeed out there, and luckily, the bad ones usually reveal themselves early in the process.