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Adult Friend (there are spinoff Friend Finders for different ethnicities and religions, seniors, and the PG-rated Friend Finder.com) is currently the 25th most-visited website in the U. and the 43rd in the world; no other stand-alone dating site has cracked the top 100 for either.The casual-sex mediator boasts over 30 million members and maintains that only half are heterosexual men (a figure not borne out by either informal studies or a quick glance in one of its chat rooms, where the male-to-female ratio is 30:1 or greater).

Some e-Cyranos were more prolix: “IT TAKES A THIEF, TO CATCH A THIEF AND IT TAKES A WARRIOR LOVER OR A THONG HUNGER [] PIRATES ALL ROLLED INTO ONE.” The most heartbreaking, though, was a 52-year-old who apologized for being too old for me and for his average looks, describing himself as “a down to earth type of person, a little on the shy side, but once I get to know you; you would never believe me being shy. I have been known to play practical jokes on people at work…I like children and animals, with the exception of rodents and fleas.” Conversely, I sent out almost 50 boilerplate messages to women in my first hour as Clientele9 (depicted as a ruggedly handsome Russian solder), with just three interested responses—and two had near-identical short profiles (“Most of my friends would say I have a easy-going personality”), suggesting fraudulence.

John received a couple of messages per day from gay men that were generally equivalent in erudition to those for Rita.

Most men confessed that they had either not yet encountered anyone on the site, or had met one or two women with experiences ranging from disappointing to sexually fulfilling.

It wasn’t too hard to figure out why a guy would trawl—even against steep odds—for no-strings-attached sex, but what kind of single woman uses Adult Friend Finder?

21, 2008) In the past week, I have seen hundreds of vaginas—shaven and hirsute, flowering out like Georgia O’Keeffe paintings and demure as habited nuns; scores of aggressively turgid, rhizomatically veined penises; breasts of varying degrees of authenticity, proportion, and symmetry; and an emotionally scarring amount of anuses.

For I have entered the seamy world of Adult Friend Finder, the closest thing on the web to an amalgam of Studio 54 and Times Square circa-‘77.For Clientele9, I received a few messages (from transgender women) but was unable to open them, or view anyone’s profile, without first purchasing a membership (starting at .95 a month).With Rita, however, I had full access to others’ profiles and messages sent to me.These are the meat markets of AFF—as Rita, I was barraged every few seconds via pickup lines no more poetic than “hi sexy”—with some webcams that display women typing in regular or skimpy outfits and men, invariably, masturbating in their desk chairs.I spent ten minutes I’ll never get back watching a 28-year-old transvestite in Grand Rapids, Michigan, change in and out of women’s clothes.In my first 24 hours on the site as Rita, almost 40 men wrote to me.

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