And if they do live happily ever after, congratulations on spreading some love!In case anyone was looking for further proof that Jennifer Lawrence would make a sweet BFF, it turns out she also sets up her friends with her co-star and fellow celeb Bradley Cooper.
Love is in the eyes, in the spark, in the moment, and there’s no replacement for that feeling of fireworks exploding between lovers.
Sure, two people can bond over common interests and have ideas about what they each want in a lover, but there has to be an X factor—the butterflies-in-the-stomach-can’t-wait-for-him/her-to-call-even-though-we-just-spent-three-hours-on-the-phone-and-I-can’t-stop-thinking-about him/her factor. If you still think getting your friends together is a good idea, or at least can’t do much harm, try not to load on the pressure.
I’ve been there too many times to count, sitting across the table from happily married friends who take it upon themselves to solve the problem of my single status.
They mean well by wishing to make me as happy as they are (let’s just ignore the obvious rebuttal that you can, indeed, be single and happy), but setting people up is fraught with the potential for awkward moments, hurt feelings, and at worst, broken friendships.
The last time a good friend set me up, the whole thing ended with her storming out of the Starbucks where we had met for coffee, offended that I didn’t consider her male cousin “good enough for me.” (After a couple of awkward dates, I decided to call it quits.) Consider these questions before introducing a friend to their "happily ever after." 1. My mother tries to set me up with every male she meets between the ages of fifteen and forty-five.
She simply can’t wrap her mind around the fact that I actually like to be single.
Let her know how much you appreciate her for helping set you two up.
Even if the date was kind of a bust, don't get mad at your friend for it when she was just trying to help.
Just because you enjoy being in a committed relationship doesn’t mean it’s for everyone, and being single is a growth period for many people. I was once set up by a male friend who secretly had a crush on me; because he was in a relationship at the time, he didn’t want his obvious interest in me to be a threat to his partner. What’s worse is having your friend set you up with someone, only to realize that your friend really wants to get the person in the sack and is using this opportunity to get more face time with him. All you’ll be doing is subjecting someone else to that person’s pain.
If your friend is interested in meeting someone new, then by all means go for it; otherwise, don’t force the issue. If you have any romantic interest in either one of the people involved in your setup, step awaaayyyy from the phone. Likewise, don’t attempt to break a friend’s pattern of what you think are bad relationships.
Involve them both in a group activity, where they won’t be so aware of the expectations that accompany being set up.