He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Email him at I’ve been dating this amazing guy for 10 months.
He is the one that calls me (even if I’m like dying to call, I wait for his call,) he is the one that talks about seeing each other and so on…
(No sex yet, as I want to get to know him a little better.) Well, last night he told me that he’s starting to genuinely like me, and that concerned him, because as perfect as that is, it’s not a good idea…. I really like this guy and don’t want to mess things up!
I’m 30 years old, divorced with no kids, smart, pretty not only on the outside but on the inside too (so people tell me,) very family oriented and have great values.
I’ve followed your advice from A to Z and GOD HAVE THEY HELPED!!!!
” I think both men and women can get caught up in the expected timeline rather than focusing on what is right for the relationship. In fact, I got caught up in that during my first serious relationship—thinking I was really ready to take next steps with my then-boyfriend by embarking on a cross-country relationship with him, even though he made it clear he wasn’t ready for that. But what about men who decide they’re just not “at the same level” as you and don’t seem to have a plan for getting on the same level? Paul: Ah, well now we are getting to “unreadiness” reason number two: “I’m just not that into you, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” If it feels as though the guy you are dating is not taking initiative to move the relationship forward, and he offers “I’m not ready” as an explanation, then he either does not want to be in a relationship or is not sure if he does. Telling a woman you are just not into it is hard, and some guys like to chalk it up to unreadiness to make it easier on you . If a man wants to be emotionally and physically intimate, he needs to be ready to handle the commitment that comes with that. I think the most encouraging thing for a woman to do is to give him space.
Me: Say a man I am dating is not ready in the first way, meaning that he needs time to move at his own pace. Paul: There are a lot of things a woman can do to help a man who is not quite ready, but she will never be able to snap her fingers and declare “Be ready! I’m not saying she should ignore him or give him the kind of cold-shoulder action that “needing space” can sometimes imply.
In fact, I’m guessing every one reading this has been in the exact same position as you, with the same exact question: “How long do I invest in a man before I panic that I’m wasting my time?
” And try though I might, this isn’t something that can easily be reduced to a simple science, because each individual man has his own unique set of issues.
I mean let him take the initiative, and in the meantime, plan time for friends, family, and hobbies—pull your laser focus off of him for a while.