And that you will always be there for them,” says Brankov. Be clear If you have a particularly inquisitive child who is asking for too many details, you don’t have to divulge all the information. As Brankov says, you want to send the message “’You’re important to me, no matter what you have to say. I value who you are.’ It’s one of the ways to build self-esteem, when you take them seriously.” 6.
When you’re first dating all you need to say is that you’re going out with a friend. If you’re getting to the point when it’s time for your kids to meet this new partner, create a scene for success. Say that you’d like them to meet this special friend (they should know the person’s name by now).
They don’t even have to know his or her name at this stage. Reassure them “All kids want to know is that they’re still the most important people in your life no matter what. You can acknowledge their question, assess whether or not it’s one you should answer and just simply tell them that you aren’t going to answer that right now. Then listen, acknowledge and validate—no matter what their reaction is.
Make them feel secure in your love — and your concern about their welfare after you are gone. If that doesn't work, think about having a session with a family counselor to help handle the issues.
But whatever you do, don't avoid a person you like — or dating in general — because it bothers your kids.
Do not introduce a new person on a family trip or a major holiday. In advance of any get-together give your date enough information about your kids that he'll have something to talk about with them.
Let your children get used to the idea of this person in your life. Make sure he knows about any information that you've shared that are absolutely private and not to be mentioned in front of your children.“This is one of those cases where less is more,” she says.“Provide basic information to a child, depending on age and developmental stage.” And remember: They’re your kids, not your friends.They’re quickly discovering what I did—dating with kids in tow is a whole different scenario.One of the biggest issues we face from the get-go is: What do we say to our kids? I asked Toronto psychotherapist Jana Brankov for some surefire tips. Talk to them Trying to hide the fact that you’re dating won’t work. “You need to be authentic because kids sniff us out. Keep it simple Brankov says one of the biggest mistakes dating parents make is telling their kids too much.She looked right at me and laughed, “Give it 10 years, you’ll have lots of company.” She was right.