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For the first time, I notice that she's quite pretty. She clings to boyfriends who mistreat her, convinced that she doesn't deserve them. This probably means that she's too emotionally fragile for a threesome, but I decide to broach the topic anyway, at least to get some practice.

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Nevertheless, my new man's-eye view of the world is thrilling. A week later, N.'s father is fine and I'm getting ready to meet her. at a café for a quick coffee, then we head to my husband's office around the corner.

I notice women everywhere —at the photo shop, in line at the supermarket. "I have a threesome in two hours," I keep boasting to myself. On the way, I insist that we stop at a little food stand, where I buy cheese, sausage, honey, and bread — in case we work up an appetite later.

Fortunately, my husband and I extend the deadline a few weeks past his birthday after realizing that, between work trips and school holidays, we don't actually have time for a threesome until the end of the month.

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I think she gets that I'm propositioning her, but instead of taking the bait, she becomes the Cassandra of threesomes. Not only is Emma out of the running, she seems to be morphing into that most dreaded of creatures: the friend. He's immediately very physical with her, which breaks the ice. I'd focused so much on the logistics and the catering that I had forgotten we were all going to be naked. My husband tells me afterward that he got a little lost, too. I get the sense that we're all trying to divide our attention equitably.

She describes the rogue ex-boyfriend who pressured her to go to bed with him and his other lover, and the friends of hers who swapped partners and never swapped back. She talks of future lunch dates at other Asian restaurants. We have a sort of group hug, and then we agree that he can take off both of our dresses. My third surprise is that, when you're detail-oriented like me, threesomes are confusing.

Threesomes suddenly seem to be everywhere, although the message about them is paradoxical: Everyone (at least everyone male) wants to have one, but no one's had a good one. The course of things on the day itself seems hard to predict. For a while, I even forget that I'm trying to get her into bed.

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