This piece is also dedicated to all of the single mothers who will hopefully read this and know they are not alone in their needs and desires.
There are men out there who will embrace you and your children without hesitation, and they will see it as a blessing. My 19-year-old self thawed in the middle of Single-town, expected to assume the role of a 31-year-old eligible bachelorette with an A-game. I spent the entire decade of my 20s hibernating in the cave of accelerated adulthood -- planning a wedding, building a home, getting pregnant, having miscarriages, getting pregnant again, breastfeeding, home making and child-rearing.
When the kids are with their father, spontaneity can reign, but when she's on duty, honor her. Chances are, she's been lonely for a very long time.
I wrote this piece with the intention of supporting the man interested in a woman with children.
To offer him a peek inside her life, to help him understand her better.
My advice is to be sensitive to her single/dating immaturity.
She's only known the security of married life -- all in and completely devoted.
We listen and listen, but who is there to listen to us?
It is a simple action -- to be silent and give attention to object of your affection. Some of us haven't had meaningful or passionate sex in years.
Residing under the feelings of fear and grief, relief and sadness is liberation. When we feel unsatisfied emotionally or mentally, we automatically lose our desire for sex. Those who have reclaimed themselves through separation or divorce live in a sexually liberated state.
This phase won't last forever, but while she's in it, enjoy it.
It will mean more to her than any words could ever express. I've heard it over and over again from my friends and other women in the same boat -- we need and want sex, lots of it; not with lots of people, with someone who we love and trust.