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A lack of respect is unacceptable under any circumstances.But it's especially intolerable on a first encounter, because it's unlikely to improve with time.

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Daters who are 50 and older tend to be less impulsive — and that's a good thing.

By now we've collected enough life experience to know better than to fall for the first person we meet. We believe that it's still possible to find a fulfilling relationship — as long as we're willing to wait for the right person to come along. " force your mind to ask questions about such key issues as your partner's financial standing, dating history and relationship goals.

I can't promise that, but I can tell you what is reasonable to expect from your first person-to-person encounter with someone you've met online: A first date evokes a junior high school dance: nervous people trying to look cool. It's nonsense that you need several dates to determine the viability of a new relationship.

But watch out for those jitters — they can make you feel so anxious that you project your own hopes on to this new person, rather than noticing his or her true nature. Ask questions about the issues that matter most to you. On a date not too long ago, I worried I'd been hit by lightning. That view discounts the possibility of magic — an undeniable resonance that a man and woman feel for each other, often right from the start.

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