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It really struck me as I read their material how often they referred to a "partner" or "being part of a couple" as opposed to a "spouse" or "being married." It seemed that secular advice was tailored to apply to the entire spectrum from cohabitating couples to married couples.Even when secular advisors do refer specifically to marriage, it's often with a distinctly secular view of marriage: that marriage is a contract or agreement for the purpose of personal fulfillment.

Look at what some popular secular financial advisers have to say: Why the disparity?

Why are so many secular advisors pro-separate accounts or, at best, neutral, while so many Christian advisors advocate joint accounts?

In the financial world, there seems to be plenty of common ground between Christian advisors and those coming from a secular perspective.

Neither camp would approve much of revolving debt on credit cards.

But if this is a real problem area for you, there is also an opportunity to improve But by keeping that one foot outside the door, by refusing to really "cleave" to your spouse financially, you may be doing more to ensure a divorce than protect yourself from one.

Howard Dayton writes in Unfortunately, many people get married with an escape hatch mentality.

Yet, from a biblical point of view, marriage is sacred. Is advice intended for such a wide spectrum, or from a secular perspective on marriage, really ideal for a Christian marriage? Christian financial advisors also contend that separate finances can signal deeper problems or lead to destructive patterns.

Crown Ministries gently warns, "Unwillingness to join all assets and bank accounts after marriage is perhaps a danger signal that unresolved trust issues could still be lingering or developing in the relationship." One credit union consultant agrees, citing "a growing distrust between men and women on money matters" as one of the reasons driving the increase in separate checking accounts in marriages.

As one online author put it, the reason for separate accounts is so that "each person retains his or her own autonomy and financial independence." Consider Suze Orman's advice to a young woman contemplating marriage: "Never be dependent on somebody else." And yet, shouldn't a Christian marriage should be marked by dying to our own independence?

The Word calls a wife to submit to and respect her husband.

Whether you are engaging in online dating or joining a group where you will meet people with similar interests, don’t wait for something to happen. Seek out people who interest you, with eye contact, a smile or a simple “hello” rather than waiting for them to choose you. Don’t waste time with people who don’t treat you well. Even if you are not interested, be kind and respectful to people who show an interest in you. Try to see your potential partner as a whole person, recognizing the things you find endearing as well as the ones you see as negative. You are beyond the confusion of your 20s and 30s and have clarified many of your major life values. Author of the recently released book, “Who Am I Without My Partner?


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