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I think I like Sky more, but Unity follows me on Twitter, so it’s a toss up.

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The crowd is tattooed and cooler-than-thou, the music is usually good, the service is normally fast. With a cheap menu of decent bar snacks, a manageable drink list, a dimly lit kitschy interior, and good music all night, Else’s is a gem barely off the beaten path between St-Laurent and St-Denis. A queer/trans* dance your pants off party, sometimes literally.

Everybody “in the know” loves this sweet little pub (it’s always bustling but never uncomfortably packed) and it’s definitely a fun place to bring a girl for a brew and a bite. This place is always open, the food doesn’t suck, and the people watching is diviiiinnnnnee. Casa del Popolo and Sala Rossa (48, boul St-Laurent). Tease Tease is a slick, ladies-only hip-hop & house dance party that takes over various clubs throughout the year.

There are pool tables and video poker machines and they serve fries from a fancy new kitchen.

Club Unity (1171, rue Ste-Catherine Est) Sky (1474, rue Ste-Catherine Est) These are the two wooooooo-let’s-do-shooters-of-something-neon! Unity often has international DJs and special events.

Spend the weekend checking out queer-centered art exhibits, buying cool boxers from obscenely handsome gay men and collecting free condoms (safer strap-on sex FTW) on Ste-Catherine Street, and hitting up some of the zillions of dance parties that take place over the weekend.

On Sunday, get a big drunch (drunkbrunch, in case this special word is unfamiliar) with your most homotastic pals, grab some plastic cups and pretend you’re drinking apple juice, and find a spot to watch the really, really long parade while acting like you’re not getting sunstroke.

Afterward, the partying continues and swarms of your fellow semi-nude LGBTQueers screw up the heteronormative traffic flow en route to promiscuous, debaucherous Pride parties (AKA lunch, bars, and/or the T-dance).

Pervers-cité: “the underside of Pride.” Enough said. Divers/cité is outdoor music, cinema, performances, and drag: queers and trans* people are awesomely talented and creative and Pride isn’t actually about how much sangria you can drink or your endless quest for not-tacky rainbow boxers. On the plus side, that equals student discounts, multi-cultural queerdom, and lots of barely used Ikea furniture being sold on craigslist for dirt cheap. Mc Gill University is an Ivy league level English-language university in beautiful old buildings all over the downtown area.

They host nifty events, serve good coffee and tea, and yes, you can totally get a beer (as long as you eat something). Fierté Montréal Pride FACT: Montréal Pride = awesome.

Great spot for reading a book or accidentally spilling something all over someone you wish you had an excuse to talk to. This colourful vegan resto has great food and they’re super allergy conscious. The whole city gets even gayer, if you can imagine.

They’ve got a lot of potential (and gender neutral bathrooms) but the bar service is sometimes so slow that you leave or you get over yourself and just have to dance sober (and thirsty). Also, this is where people find themselves if they get impatient waiting for a drink at the Royal Phoenix.

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