Then you can go online afterwards and see how well you did against the rest of the world – who needs pillow talk anyway?
Do you spend most of your free time staring daggers at the “in a relationship” status on your one-true-love’s Facebook?
You can then send them voice messages and videos of yourself, which to be honest will probably be used for more sinful than heavenly reasons really.
You want to use Tinder, but you’re too busy, and you’re loaded (it is the perfect time of year for it with revision and student loans…). Aimed at rich single men with little free time to spare, Personal Dating Assistants provides an online profile management and ghostwriting service for dating profiles.
Apparently boasting hundreds of members at universities across the UK, skint students can sign up to be “sugar babies” to either “sugar mamas” or “sugar daddies”.
In exchange for a relationship (80% of Seeking Arrangement dates involve sex, but the founder Brandon Wade denies it’s a form of prostitution), cash-strapped sugar babies are lavished with gifts and cash allowances which average at £5,000 a month. If you have trouble with giving out satisfying oral sex, you should probably lick your phone instead.
Keep an eye on them while you’re hoping they’ll fall miserably out of love with their other half with the handy website
Breakupnotifier does exactly what it says on the tin.
If the person you’ve swiped is also feeling Heavenly or Sinful to match you, then you’ve got yourself a match made in Heaven (sorry).
The app also includes a handy map so you can see your fellow Heavenly or Sinful people according to their location.
After an hour your listing, photos, tagline and location all disappear.